[anyfoo]

For me, the dread is in the preparation. Once I'm on the proverbial stage, everything is usually good if I have prepared a good presentation. There is definitely some pre-stage anxiety, but I know it will go away when I actually present.

But the preparation, I hate it so much. Sitting in front of that empty window and trying to come up with something that makes sense, then refactoring it multiple times. Practicing, identifying stumbling points, fixing them... I put it off as long as I can, but not how I put off some programming work if it's boring, instead I put it off because of how dreadful it feels. This is somewhat of a vicious cycle, because there's only so much on-stage adrenaline and maybe resulting improvisation power can do: To have a good talk, you have to have a good preparation, but if you put it off because it is so anxiety-inducing, the fear that you are not prepared enough as a result is even more anxiety-inducing.