[Johnjonjoan]

I think there's certainly a difference.

With spanking you are trying to affect the thought processes that lead to bad behaviour (condition them) with violence. Implicitly showing the child it's ok to use violence to get what you want. Cue tantrums, destructive tendencies, etc.

In your case you are using force (which isn't the same as violence) to achieve something. Your showing the child some things must be done whether they like it or not.

I do believe you should always explain your actions in these kind of situations because children are rational but not nuanced. You have to be much more explicit with them so they learn to understand the implicit.

[johnkpaul]

Yeah that makes sense. I always explain and try my best to give them some amount of time to agree to it without physical force. As they grow older, I expect this to become less necessary and for them to know that I have no actual _desire_ to hurt them at all.