| Lots of great advice in these comments.
What would I add? Get off Tinder and go out into the world outside of work, trying organizations, groups, conferences, classes in areas you've ever thought " that looks interesting", " I'd like to try that"..... You will meet people just like you, that share these same interests. There is a high probability you will meet someone as interested in you as you are in them. The web offers so many ways to find these groups, organizations,..... that were never available before. Being that you are a programmer, you can probably write a routine to give you more options than you need. I too enjoyed programming and math, which for me was about solving puzzles presented as tasks or problems, getting immersed in a thought machine, and seeing the results. This skill can be expanded into many different vocations and a vocations, a " secret sauce" allowing you to succeed in what ever , how ever you define " success" . Could be sitting in a hammock In Key West after a day of inventing an algorithm to count manatees from drone images during their winter gatherings in Florida, or Bora Bora doing something else. Or working for Hilton and stay for free, or an airline and fly for free. You get the idea. At 23, you definitely have a whole world ahead of you for as long as the ride lasts. The adventures, puzzles to be figured out, fascinating people to meet; way too many opportunities for others to benefit from your life in ways you cannot imagine. Ending that denies the world those unique aspects only you can create. Seems like a waste to me. Definitely seek professional help if you find yourself thinking about it. Lots of great reading out there. This has talked me off the ledge more than once. |