[blindmute]

This is such a horrible and dangerous ideology. To tell someone stuck in a rut that the rut is perfect and just where they need to be? I couldn't think of a more harmful message. OP has turned himself into a person he doesn't want to be. The solution is to change himself, not to accept that being alone and empty and unattractive is actually normal and beautiful. That's the kind of thing you say to people with no hope to make them feel better, not something you give as advice to a healthy young man who has all the potential in the world to come out of his shell.

To OP and anyone in his situation, please do not get sucked into this thought pattern. It's very easy to convince yourself that simply not changing anything is the answer; not changing is easy and wouldn't it be great if I could take the soma pill and be content with my circumstances as they are? You know this is bullshit, so don't allow yourself to do it.

[DistressedDrone]

You think the OP has never heard this before? This is the attitude that creates the guilt that weighs people down in the first place.

You, like most people, are talking about the future. I'm sure you're about the 1000th person telling this person to turn their life around. But this future is a projection, it's imaginary, whereas the pain is very real in the present moment. So start with the present.

[HKH2]

Yet for him to change himself for the good, he at least has to come to terms with what he is, without so much dependence on how others see him.

Some parts of what make up the rut are seemingly necessary parts of life. You can at least accept and build from them.