| It sounds like you are lonely and consumed by work. The last 1.5 years has been extremely lonely time for a lot of people around the world. Take a little bit of relief in knowing a huge percentage of the entire world is in the same boat as you. You're not alone, you're not unique in this loneliness. Forgive yourself. This is the most important part. I don't believe you're a complete failure in life, but even if you are, FORGIVE YOURSELF. Tell yourself, okay you made a mistake and you're human, but you forgive yourself and move on. Drop the shackles of shame and anger at yourself by forgiving yourself and move on. Otherwise the shame you feel will never go away. You're exceedingly young, and you can motivate yourself to put yourself in a position to be happy. As the world starts opening up through the rest of this year, do your best to get out and socialize. Understand that the next couple of years will be hard but learn how to socialize the same way you learn mathematics and programming. Trial and error and many, many attempts. You will get better at it. You need to find your people. Those that share similar interests or similar sense of humor, etc. People you can talk to in real life. If you can work in person, do this. Tinder and all online dating apps are 100% based on looks. I am not particularly good looking and when I tried match.com (I'm over double your age) it was a disaster. If I needed to use Tinder today, it would be a disaster as well. But I've been able to find my fair share of girlfriends because I can carry a conversation and I inherently like talking with people. Find others that you can talk to and then try to meet people that way. It sounds hard, and it is. But keep on trying over and over and over again. That's the way you get better. |