[truenamenofame]

Lots of great advice in this thread. I hope you don't get overwhelmed thinking about what and how to apply them to your own life. Just remember that it's better to do something than to do nothing. That you're still considering trying dating apps means that you still have hope. As such, suicide is off the table because it makes the possibility of happiness in this current life 0%. Please don't give up. I'm 25, roughly in the same situation, without a decade of programming and mathematics discipline to show for it. I'm going to keep trying. I even gathered the will to study and put myself into college recently. I was able to apply for healthcare assistance recently too. One step at a time, I'm progressing toward some place better than where I was before. We're not losers. The real losers are the ones who give up before the game ends.

One actionable thing you can do starting tomorrow or when convenient is to start working out. Start with calisthenics and move to lifting weights when you feel comfortable. The most important thing is consistency. You're gonna be doing a lot of work to get to where you want, so you can't stay at the same level of fitness. You need to keep getting stronger, so that your body and mind can handle more and more, so that what were previously mountains become anthills you can walk right over.