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I had a similar experience to 41209 on quitting online dating and drastically reducing social media, and developing better relationships in my life. I spent more time on private Discord/Slack channels of hobby groups, clubs, and a non-profit as a volunteer. I felt better spending time and energy with people I've grown to care about, versus worrying about the attention of strangers via online dating optimization (nice photos that tell a story, worrying about the wording of the biography, and being overly clever with the chat messages) or, frankly, semi-strangers with loose connections on social media. Dating a co-volunteer is almost like dating a coworker, but without the potential harm to your career. Just like a workplace, you tend to share similar interests and similar/complementary skillsets. It's also natural to approach another person, and ask to hang out or work on something independently of the organization. These relationships also seem more stable than people I'd meet through online connections. These people are amazing to me, though it's more precise to say that I enjoy interactions with these people more than people I meet through online dating. I'm less likely to run into people who play games, e.g. who optimize response times and lengths to messages. It feels human, versus my experiences with online dating. The main caveat is to avoid dating fellow volunteers/contributors when either of you are in a position of power (relatively less impact as no pay is at stake, but poor communication can still cause a negative organizational environment). I also avoid getting to know anyone with the intention to date them when I first meet them; though I don't hesitate to show interest in them as a person, and have created valued friends along the way. I moved to make it romantic, if I think we can work out long term (similar age, medium-term plans, and compatible personalities). |