| I agree very much. My parents worked as foster parents and I know some people working professional in the area. (mental baggage was a euphemism) There is so much going on, people from normal upbringing cannot imagine (and usually do not want to imagine). Even the children who were not abused in one way or another, how can they develope a stable mind, when they have no stable surroundings? Dragged around back and forth from instable "parents" to foster parents to various institutions and back. And out again. And then maybe adopted one day. I would never blame the childs. (I find it also hard to blame their parents, as they usually had a childhood like this, or went down into drugs for one reason or another - always easy to judge from the outside - and they do get judged. Usually at a time when they simply needed help and not judgment - but they don't get help, but their children taken away) So ... like I said, it can be very, very challenging to adopt a older child. I did not wanted to scare anyone away from it. If anyone feels like this is the right thing for them - do it! Just don't expect it will be easy. edit: note, that my experience may be a bit biased through the foster home situation, which is especially hard, because often the parents of the kids often wanted to have their kids back - so this pool is probably the hardest.
But personally I would just want to see the child and see how we feel about it, if there is a emotional connection with the child.
Older children can also be easier, by beeing already very independent. You also might end up being the hotel for a distant teenager. But that also happens with "normal" kids. You never know. |