[avs733]

this is typical of people self-labeling as, and seeking pity for, being 'cancelled' in my experience...

What happened is quickly glossed over in vague terms with a half hearted apology and treated as a mere unimportant sideshow to the real problem: I faced consequences. Ignoring the pushback or saying 'well I could have provided more detail about what I learned as a person' isn't actually explaining what you did wrong. There is a big gap between 'acting like an asshole' (to use your language) and 'being a sexual predator' (to use another headline). Those details matter - because they frame the rest of the description of what happened. It's the head nod to 'I'm sorry if anyone was offended' so we can get to the real topic...

The real topic is claiming victimhood when the consequences of one's behavior come out. No challenge of facts, of what others are saying, simply an acclimation that you are put upon based on your evaluation of the consequences. By bypassing all of that, you are starting from the idea that you (and your wife) are really the victim here and building that narrative very intentionally. These types of articles are basically an argument by assertion that accountability is not important.

Cancel culture is not real - the term 'cancel culture' is an attempt to recuperate[0] the language of equal rights and justice to protect people from the consequences of their actions. You're sitting here writing a blog post about this. It's on the front page of HN, you posted about it on your twitter. Please...

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recuperation_(politics)

[robocat]

Do you believe every man is a liar? Can a man change their spots? Is it acceptable to attack someone in the court of Twitter, victimise them, hurt them, and hurt their friends and family?

Should society try to help everyone learn to be better, or should society righteously punish those who trangress the invisible boundaries of decency?

His narrative is certainly believable, although I am in no position to judge your accusations against him.

I fear to even answer you, as I am sure others are, because perhaps you are someone to start a crusade against me for no reason more than you have the ability to do so.

All adults need to take some responsibility for his his actions: he is steeped in a society that tacitly accepts womanising in its media (think “Two and a Half Men”), a society that has accepted sleezing as a valid sport (jock culture). Neither you nor I accepts such hideous behaviour, but clearly we are not yet winning against the wider society of the world, and what should we do with those that get sucked into red pill culture?

I am not apologising for his behaviours, nor am I defending myself by proxy. I do fear for where “cancel culture” is trending towards silencing any discourse. (Disclaimer: I am a white guy who isn’t in the US. I try to always do my best, although I am as fallible as any other person).

Edit: perhaps this comment would have been safer made using a throwaway account?

[avs733]

> Do you believe every man is a liar?

No, I believe we are all our own unreliable narrator

> Can a man change their spots?

Absolutely

> Is it acceptable to attack someone in the court of Twitter, victimise them, hurt them, and hurt their friends and family?

begging the question. I am merely commenting on the credibility of accepting an argument about victimization from someone who demands that we bifurcate that from how they have victimized others. There is one reality and yet we all have our own. You aren't entitled to demand your reality be adopted as the only one.

I'm a white guy too, I've never felt the need to opt out of discourse out of fear of being canceled. Cancel culture is designed to silence discourse...but not in the way you think. The term was created out of whole cloth and is designed to silence critique. It is a label applied to exempt behavior from critique. Discourse requires critique, cancel culture is designed to be a singular label to ensure ideas from certain people (i.e., you and me) are not subject to critique. You can note that this entire thread has treated any critique of the author as largely akin to a violent attack on them. What kind of discourse is that?

'Cancel culture' is a bad faith argument, not something you need to fear. It is a narrative created specifically to make you feel the way you describe in your edit when there is no evidence to support that. You don't need a throwaway...just like I'm totally identifiable from my account history while continuing to say dumb things, I manage that by (mostly) being respectful of people. Cancel culture is right wing propaganda.

[username90]

You are victim blaming here. If you have good reasons to believe the victim was attacked for a good reason then state it, otherwise don't blame the victim.