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by teddyh 1827 days ago
See, this is why many powerful people have a policy of never apologizing for anything. To critics, no apology is enough, and any attempt at an apology only serves to prove (to critics) how insincere the person is. There is no way to win. The mere fact that the person here is trying to apologize indicates that the person is probably honestly trying to make amends. This is not a behavior you should discourage, if what you want is a functioning community. However, if what you want is instead more drama, by all means, flame away!
1 comments

These powerful people you refer to are treating this all as a game. As if apologies are only a tool to adjust public perception.

And most of the time such people really only do give calculated, insincere apology-shaped statements. Like a child forced to say "sorry" or they won't get their dessert. These apologies are rightfully criticized, but sadly for the most part they do their intended job.

If you are sorry and want to improve, and give a proper apology as a matter of integrity, the grumblings of some bystanders should not matter.

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That being said, I think howoldius' criticism is overly nitpicky but generally valid. Felleisen sounds genuine, but writing an apology on a post-it on his own fridge and not telling anyone about it, and only acknowledging a small part of the problem as a one-off thing, isn't particularly absolving.

> These powerful people you refer to are treating this all as a game.

I’m sure there are many such people, but in an individual instance of an apology, you can’t know that, unless you can read minds. Accept their apology and move on, and let their actions in the future speak for them.