Hacker News new | ask | show | jobs
by fighterpilot 1833 days ago
I worked for one of these types many labelled an asshole and grew to love it, and he had the most loyal group of people around him you could imagine.

There's a super important distinction between the person with extremely high standards that skewers anything mediocre and that can legitimately be won over by doing exceptional work (my old boss), and the narcissist who is critical for the mere purposes of bullying (or the type that mixes both of those together). If the rage and ultra high standards are strictly about work quality and vary only along that dimension, then that's someone I actually really like working with.
3 comments
fenomas 1833 days ago
Question of intent, surely? If someone is "skewering mediocrity" because it's an effective way to help the person they're trying to help, then great. But if they keep doing it even when it's having the opposite effect, then clearly they're just stroking their own ego and being toxic.

It reminds me, I've often read accounts that Steve Jobs used to yell at his employees because drove them to excellence. But if you think about it, it's more parsimonious to assume that he yelled at people because he was short-tempered, and the yelling sometimes coincidentally drove people to excellence.

link
threatofrain 1833 days ago
Isn't that also the pedagogical philosophy of Terence Fletcher? Just kidding, of course.
link
fighterpilot 1833 days ago
That's true, so there is such a thing as taking it too far. But a lean/tilt in that direction is something I appreciate.
link
dboreham 1833 days ago
You sir were a flying monkey.
link
fighterpilot 1833 days ago
This comment is why I said it's important to draw the distinction between narcissists and non-narcissists with extremely high standards.

Narcissistic abuse coming from either sadism or narcissistic injury is a phenomenon specific to people with NPD or perhaps subclinical narcissism

My old boss, for example, had little indication of having NPD. If someone was disagreeable and did zero to feed his ego, yet their work was exceptional, that person would get praise. That is not the behavior of a narcissist.

link