[overgard]

What you have is a theory for why she's depressed. You may be correct or incorrect. Unless you secretly know her neither of us knows if that is true. For me, my depression had nothing to do with the outer world. There isn't always a reason, sometimes it's just biology.

It has nothing to do with what I was trying to say though.

My point is not that her depression is valid or invalid, it's that forming a sense of victimhood into your core identity is dangerous. I would give the same advice to men or women.

I'm not religious but consider this widely known prayer: "grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference". Victim mindset is the opposite, it's focusing on things you can't control. I personally think it's more useful to do the best with what is in your power.