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I'm a successful 33 year old adult in a career ideally suited to the way my brain works, so I was VERY skeptical about whether it would make any difference to my life to get diagnosed or go on meds. Now that I have, I can confidently say that it was a total game-changer and I wish my parents had gotten this done for me when I was a kid. It would've made so many things so much easier. I currently only use my meds (specifinally, Vyvanse) once per week, because I don't love the side effects and I can manage fine without most of the time. On that one day per week, I do everything that my brain chemistry usually makes difficult, which is mostly paperwork and cleaning. The difference it's made is HUGE. I went through a whole grieving process when I realized how much easier I could've had it all along. I can sit down, spend four hours doing my taxes, and then be done (and then realize the bathroom needs cleaning, and also do that), instead of sitting down, getting a snack, doing ten minutes of taxes, cuddling with the cat, starting a conversation, going on hacker news, doing ten minutes of taxes, going on hacker news, and finally finishing the taxes ten hours later at a quarter to midnight. It's also made a huge difference to accept that some things are simply symptoms, and not signs that I'm a disorganized failure who'd too stupid to manage daily life. It's also helped to live with people who know and accept this about me, and who know that although I'm very good at managing my symptoms, sometimes things go wrong. Yes, sometimes everyone is mildly inconvenienced because we were about to leave and now I have to go on a ten-minute WHERE IS MY WALLET tear through the house. It's fine! Sometimes, we're mildly inconvenienced because my girlfriend's insulin pumped is clogged and she needs to spend ten mins fussing with the catheter. These are things that happen when you have a chronic health condition, and no reason for anyone to get upset or berate anyone else. Accepting that has made me a much happier person. |
I was diagnosed six months ago and I have absolutely been going through the this same process. At one point I cleaned up a bunch of old boxes (some of which I'd been meaning to unpack for over a decade... yes the meds help!) and came across a folder of my old school reports. Reading through them and seeing the lifelong pattern of struggle with focus and attention that I'd just thought was normal, and that didn't have to have been that hard... I cried, a lot.