[JackFr]

It’s possible though as a society we’ve lost the idea of a disordered desire. If you’ve got an authentic desire to be sexually dominated or to humiliate and dominate others, we now say “That’s ok, that’s your authentic self. It’s cool as long as everything is consensual.”

But maybe it’s not OK. Maybe it’s behavior that if indulged keeps us from living and thriving and keeps us from being our best selves.

I’m not making a moral argument here — at least I don’t think I am. Just that it might not be healthy to indulge every desire we may have. And when desires are far outside the norm, it’s worth it to be circumspect about them.

[pault]

You definitely are making a moral argument, even if that isn't your intention. There is no meaningful way to define "outside the norm", so it becomes a synonym for "unnatural" and a proxy for individual prejudices. Homosexuality is statistically "outside the norm", and conservative heterosexuals use this logic to support gay conversion therapy and other bigotry. You can overindulge in any dopamine-producing activity, so the same can be said for sex, eating, drinking, smoking, etc. The particular type of sex you enjoy is as irrelevant as the brand of whiskey you prefer.