[rasen58]

I don't think a lot of people know what motivates them or what they want to do in life. If you could play video games all day and have fun or force yourself to study or work at a hard job all day, what would you choose? Wouldn't most people prefer the easier and fun option?

Do you have a solution to this? (I've been thinking about it for a while and I don't know)

[belorn]

In part the solution I would point to is the same that is often said by parents in how one get well adapted children. Provide social support and introduce hobbies. They are not a silver bullet for everyone, but it catches a significant larger portion than stereotypical gender roles.

We can also draw inspiration from the cultural change that we have seen for women. How often do you see in movie a person say to a woman "Are you happy? Is this really what you want...". Lifting personal motivation as an actually question is a early good step towards making people think about it.

There seems to also be a possible error in how people perceive the problem. In the absent of video games you would not suddenly get motivation. Even if you would throw them out on the street with no money, food or shelter, the result would not be a sudden aspiration to become what society expect men to be.

Finding what motivate oneself can either be done through the help by others, or alone. It not as much of a question about what is easier as all hobbies are more work than no hobby at all.

[qq4]

I don't think many people are motivated to do much of anything, and so by consequence they prefer the easier, "fun" option of wasting their time. A motivated person doesn't have to force themselves to work hard, it's the default. That's how I see it.