[coldtea]

If the parent's example was what I was talking about, then a "plus 20" years adjustment on my part wouldn't fix anything, since people have been doing the "four yorkshiremen" style thing not just 70 years ago, but since forever (and still do).

But that (the parent's example) is not what I claimed people didn't do 50 years ago. If anything, it's the opposite.

In the "four workshiremen" sketch they take pride in their traumas/harsh situations that they went through, and compete to exaggerate even greater traumatic/harsh situations. Today many people exaggreate irrelevant slights as traumas, and do so in order play the victim, not the tough survivor.

[whydoibother]

Nice cynical, cruel take. It says more about you that you believe people who speak about their trauma are only doing it to play victim.

You ever wonder how trauma is passed through generations? Because of the premise you are saying: people in denial about a trauma they experienced. They assume the shitty experiences they had are normal and then repeat the same acts that were visited upon them.

In my reading about cptsd during my counseling (uh oh, am I playing a victim?) one of the most common thoughts identified in childhood trauma is downplaying the severity and assuming it is common. That leads to people not seeking treatment.

Try showing some compassion and assume good faith.

[coldtea]

>Nice cynical, cruel take. It says more about you that you believe people who speak about their trauma are only doing it to play victim

That would be a very valid critique - but only if I had said anything of the sort.

I never said that "people who speak about their trauma are only doing it to play victim", as if it's somehow impossible to speak about trauma and not doy to play victim.

What I said that people today (meaning, lots of people today, which is neither the same as "everybody", nor even the same as "everybody who talks about trauma") overblow insignifant "traumas" to play the victim.

There are, of course, also people with real traumas (real abuse, parent loss, and so on). Those, by definition, don't have to overblow BS "traumas", and, by extension, are not those I criticized.

So, I can't really answer your points, any other way, expect to say that they don't actually respond to what I did say.

[whydoibother]

It did address what you said. You are demeaning people with trauma when you say “lots” have “BS” traumas. It ties in with people doubting their trauma.

You don’t get to decide what is and isn’t trauma. You aren’t the arbiter of what is trauma.

Respect what people say or just keep your thoughts to yourself. It’s not hard.