[jrochkind1]

I always agreed that "addiction" was the wrong word for most/all things that were not chemical substances.

But then i quit smoking cigarettes, which was very challenging, and involved really paying attention to my relationship with smoking and how it made me feel and why I did it. Through that process, I started to see a lot of similarities between my use of social media and my use of cigarettes.

The way I used them both as a procrastination, or distraction, device, or to avoid being alone with myself. The fear of what I'd find do if I weren't doing them, how I'd have to find something. The way I reached for both to calm me down, even though they didn't necessarily have that long-term effect. The generally compulsive feeling of them both, difficulty just "deciding" not to do them or even to take a break, and then following through.

> For a lot of people, you can realize that the gaming is actually a coping that is displayed to face with social anxiety or trauma or depression.

Oh yeah, and that so much described my smoking too! (Not an ultimately long-term successful coping mechanism, but an attempt). And definitely a part of addictive relationship with say alcohol for other people I know. I think that is actually common to (substance) addiction for many people, that it's in part related to coping with anxiety or trauma or depression -- rather than this being a distinction from addiction? I mean, surely this is born out by research, it seems such a commonplace of recovery narratives, right? His protestations of the ways technology use is different from addiction just make me think "gee, that sounds a lot like my experience and what I've heard of others experiences of (substance) addiction!" This is in fact the real center of what made me realize social media use did feel like an addiction, that both it and smoking were related to coping with things like this for me.

I am sure there are many ways they are different as well as similar, but I definitely now (and didn't use to) see why people reach for that term to describe "technology" and other non-substance "addictions".

I still haven't managed to quit social media...

[travisjungroth]

> Through that process, I started to see a lot of similarities between my use of social media and my use of cigarettes.

My experience is that they're not just similar, they're the same. The tug of a vape pen and the tug of a phone are indistinguishable from another except for the object they point to. If I didn't have one on me, I'd reach for the other.

[jrochkind1]

Interesting to hear similar experiences, I haven't heard this talked about much, specifically with cigarettes and social media. But yeah, pretty much.

I wouldn't go so far to say exactly the same for me, the "withdrawal" feeling of not having smoked a cigarettes was stronger for me than anything with social media, providing another dimension. But yeah, I identify with what you are saying, the circumstances and feelings around reaching for one or the other were very similar for me too, and with both of them I'd decide "I'm going to not use them for X amount of time" and then renege on my agreement with myself when the feelings arose. I still haven't quit social media...

[travisjungroth]

The manifestations of the addictions are certainly different. I'm really experienced in this. I've quit many addictions. Some of them many times!

In a context that I'm not going to share on HN right now (find and message me if you're curious) I set an intention to face my addictions. I named six things that had pulled on me in my life. I was going to work through them, one by one. But when the time came, I realized there was no "one by one". They were all the same. Six sides of the same die.

The root thing was an aversion to the present moment. A refusal to face whatever was going on right then. At its deepest: a separation from awareness.

That's what caused me to reach for the vape pen, the phone, the addiction die. I was literally turning away from something. What pulls me out is to face the craving. Just let it in. Just be aware. Then, maybe, something behind that will reveal itself and I'll face that, too.

[jrochkind1]

Yup that absolutely resonates. (And many of us are probably guessing the same thing about the setting you're implying as well and I have some things to say about that too, but HN doesn't have a DM function).

How do you relate to the claims in the OP about: "For a lot of people, you can realize that the gaming is actually a coping that is displayed to face with social anxiety or trauma or depression."

While I guess he's trying to say that's what makes it different than "real addiction", in my experience and that of many people I know, this is hitting the nail on the head for many experiences of "conventional" addiction too.

Your experiences/thoughts?

Perhaps this is related to your statement about "maybe, something behind that will reveal itself and I'll face that, too" Although OP author seems to suggest that as a result you should only focus on the "thing behind" and ignore the "addiction" that is just a manifestation of the deeper thing, but what I think I'm picking up and agree with from you is, sometimes you need to "deal with" the addiction to get to the thing behind it. Both/and/simultaneous.

[travisjungroth]

Implying it's not a real addiction because it's a coping mechanism is so off. Like you're not really an alcoholic if you just drink to escape the trauma from when you went to war.

My understanding is that addiction is avoidance at its core. You're either avoiding the cravings, the withdrawals, or something else all together.

There doesn't have to be some other underlying issue. People get hooked on opiates in hospitals. Then they keep doing them to avoid the withdrawals. Doesn't mean they're avoiding something in their life. But it still counts as addiction if they are!

[jrochkind1]

Aside from the obvious that they are using opioids to avoid the "underlying issue" of physical pain, I wonder if those whose prescribed hospital opioid use becomes addiction (vs those whom it doesn't) are more likely to be those with underlying "somethings in their life" they are trying to avoid. But then, who doesn't have underlying "somethings", so.

At any rate, I will agree it's not a useful diagnostic to determine if something is "really" addiction or not. It may be useful self-reflection for "treating" the addiction though. (Or may not, at any rate if the person isn't recognizing it there is no value to forcing them to try to fit to your narrative).