[haitran]

I am 32 and have lost both of my parents.

My mom passed when I was 15. I felt extremely horrible back then for quite long.

My dad passed away last December, on the SAME DAY with my wedding. Only a few hours after the ceremony. It was like a rollercoaster of emotion within a span of 24 hours -- from smiling and shaking hands in the morning to mourning at night.

After such events, I still do not have any good way to cope with the losses. Maybe I am now better at accepting the fact that my parents are gone forever -- no more family gathering with them, no more arguments, no more adult talk, etc. Everything just becomes silence.

So I accepted the silence. I allow thoughts of them to come to me, replay the memories in my head, then try to not hold on the thoughts. My tears still fall occasionally but such times do not feel as painful as in the earlier days.

Hope you will soon find a balance point for your emotion.

[javert]

I lost my father at 15 and my mother at 32. My mother did not live long enough to see me get married; in fact, I'm now 34 and nowhere close to getting married. But she really would have wanted to see that. Hope this is something slightly helpful, a positive thought.