[__jf__]

The most surprising thing I discovered was that it took me 3 months to lose a jittery “I.SHOULD.DO.SOMETHING.NOW” feeling. Only after 3 months did I feel truly relaxed to pursue whatever interest-driven nerding project and at the same time letting go of a sense of achievement or progress. 2021 was supposed to be a “me” year until an interesting project came along. I said yes. Taking time off is hard.

[adsteel_]

Taking time off is a skill! I think the 3mo threshold is common. It takes a long time to start to "let go" as you say. Pre-tech career I worked seasonally and for years had 4-5 months off a year. It let me build up a different, more positive understanding of myself, decoupled from the anxieties and pressures of work.