[thiago_fm]

Hey,

Can I suggest the obvious? Therapy. We developers try to believe that everything that goes through us is rational, but it could be that unprocessed emotions are clouding your mind and making things harder for you. A Therapist might have trouble with computers but understands emotions very well and might help you to understand what you want and what really bothers you.

It is very hard to go through this alone and they can be the helping hand for us. If you have very good relationship with your family, partner or friends, that can be helpful as well, as long as it is positive and you feel heard. It is normal to also hit roadblocks and end up in a similar situation as you, having the right support should help you to cross this path.

Another thing I've noticed is that you have a big tendency to depreciate yourself and have extremely high expectations for you. Leetcode problems are hard and many trival things(like remembering how to calculate a median) isn't something everybody remember. You don't need to know it all. Also to receive a salary you don't need to be the very best of your field, you just need to do some work and your part. We aren't robots.

I am also having a hard time during the pandemic, if you feel like talking feel free to reach me out. I actually envy a lot C++ devs and their flags even though I know "cloud computing" ;-).