[goliatone]

I often interpreted this as a conservative interpersonal communicative approach. It is safer to talk about yourself than to ask questions from people because there risk of inadvertently saying something offensive.

Sure, you will find people that are a bit more self absorbed and would just pong about themselves.

But there are so many conversational constraints- asking “why” is aggressive, direct feedback is discouraged, slipping pronouns or other identity traits is a minefield, etc. You should not follow up when others say something because they were being polite and you’re putting them in evidence…

If you get to engaged in a conversation people can feel weirded out, like you’re supposed to go through the motions but that’s it.

Not talking also can get you in trouble.

Talking about yourself is probably the safest thing to do.

[shannifin]

I actually find it easier to converse by asking polite general questions about what the other person just said about themselves. (Probably not something like "why?", more like "oh cool, how was it?") Because so many people's most comfortable topic is themselves, it can put them at ease. Can't go overboard with it though.

[konart]

I guess I won't be visiting California any time soon... Only as a tourist maybe.

I really can't understand how people can communicate and enjoy the conversation if literally everything is offensive.

[staticassertion]

I think if you find that engaging with people is such a minefield that's probably on you. It's not hard at all to have an engaging conversation with someone without accidentally offending them...

People talk about themselves because conversations can be intimate - they're a two way street where both parties are sharing and relating.

[nitrogen]

I believe the OP. There's always a minefield when cultures collide. This is evident when someone from the US Midwest/Mountain West moves to SF for work. Just very different norms for how interactions are structured, and how good faith is communicated.

Because all involved parties basically look and sound the same, they judge one another according to their own local standards, instead of recognizing that they are actually interacting with a different culture.

Edit: for an additional existence proof of this midwest/coastal clash, see this comment which I had not yet read: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27199709