[roenxi]

This post has missed the trick; the reason people don't pass on hard truths is because they are worried about how the truth-reciever will respond.

The entire game of getting honest feedback is making people think that if they give honest feedback then the situation will end well for them.

How feedback is asked for is completely irrelevant. What you do with the feedback might be relevant. What happens to the truth-teller after giving feedback is critical and often overlooked.

[HKH2]

Right. If we are in a culture where me being offended is your problem, no matter how neutral you've tried to word things, then we can't get out of the situation you've outlined.

I think it can be solved by everyone working on their own triggers, and taking ownership of their own feelings, but that doesn't seem too popular, so we continue with the facade.