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by krono 1861 days ago
This isn't a pissing contest, it's simply the social standard here which sometimes accidentally leaks out to people who do not appreciate it, or wrongly interpret it as rudeness.

For us as practitioners of this behaviour, intended rudeness is actually easy enough to spot.
2 comments
slibhb 1861 days ago
The point is that there are many cultures of which people claim "they are so direct". I've heard it said about Bangladeshis and Israelis too.

It may be true. A significant part of the world may be outside the "always lie to avoid offense" way of conducing yourself.

I would also say that "being direct" and "saying difficult things" are often not be the same. The former may just be "saying whatever pops into your head" whereas the latter is much more carefully considered.

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sdevonoes 1861 days ago
> This isn't a pissing contest, it's simply the social standard here which sometimes accidentally leaks out to people who do not appreciate it, or wrongly interpret it as rudeness.

Well, as in any other country: there exists rude people in The Netherlands as well ;)

So, the next time when someone says "Oh boy, I talked to this Dutch... he was rude!", what are the chances of that Dutch being a) straightforward, b) rude, or c) both?. I find c) happens most of the time.

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krono 1861 days ago
Oh yes plenty of rudeness to go around here. And I get what you mean, there's a perfect example in one of the other comments[1] of what can happen when the true intent is unclear.

Although not always easy, not letting yourself feel offended, assuming positive intent, and just walking away with a smile is a guaranteed win under most circumstances.

[1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27190514

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