If PHP supported containers and Haskell didn't -- though we all know Haskell's `jails` feature is absurdly better in all respects, and all white-coated CompSci PhDs know it.
* GPL license (until PHP4)
* evolutionary
* has warts
* pragmatic
* gets shit done
* everyone uses it
* lots tips online (good and bad)
* you have crazy idea, too late, it has already been done
BSD/Haskell
* BSD license
* designed
* elegant
* by the book
* theoretically correct
* nobody uses it
* read the man pages
* you shouldn't do that
probably more, maybe something about globals vs jails/monads. Many of these things stems from evolutionary vs designed.