[gytdau]

Or, alternatively, will pretending to have affection simply cement the feeling that affection is unrewarding? Perhaps there is a case to be made to lean into not having affection, to fall out of love and to have a break, and to let it arise again naturally instead of summoning it via artifice.

[smithza]

I prefaced the opinion as likely being unpopular. It is something that I contemplate as a husband when affection is low and wits are at an end (with a toddler demanding much energy and attention from my wife and I). It has helped immensely in my attitude that disciplining myself to just love her has stirred up feelings of love inside. It is the virtuous opposite of the self-reinforcing cycle of despair and resentment.