[thebackup]

I understand that a lot of parents are positive to the parental control and supervision that you describe, I am not that kind of parent. I want the relationship with my kids to be built on trust and honesty. My two boys make mistakes sometimes, probably more than I know of, but that is fine, it's part of growing up. They also don't use social media, instead they text their friends by SMS or simply call them when they want to talk or meet up. So far they have never complained about missing out on anything.

[javajosh]

Two things: what age, and what's the alternative? Teens are quite a different group, and I agree that they should have greater privacy. But young children have friends too and they want to chat. While I agree it would be best to be screen free and meet IRL, circumstances make this very difficult.

That said, I wish it wasn't Facebook making this tool. I do not trust that company.

[efdee]

Out of curiosity: What causes them to currently not use social media? And what if they start doing so?

[garmaine]

It’s not about preventing them from making mistakes. It’s about protecting them from predators.

[thebackup]

I see your point. I have friends that put GPS trackers on their kids "just in case they get abducted by a sexual predator". It does happen that kids get taken, however it's more likely that they get hit by lightning... and a GPS tracker wont really protect them anyhow. The absolute majority of abuse towards children are also done by people that are close to them (parents, relatives, teachers). I have put a lot of time and effort into building a relation with my kids where it's ok to talk about anything. My oldest have also been practicing self-defense for over 5 years now.

[nineplay]

Yes yes yes. The most direct discussions I have with my kid about social media is "there are adult male perverts who are going to pretend to be your friend because they want to have sex with you." It's a more explicit discussion than I'd like to have but there's no getting away from it.

It's also why I have the "I will monitor your internet usage at any time that I feel it's necessary" discussion. I don't like invading privacy - I wouldn't want my internet history explored and it's as vanilla as you can imagine but it's also a projection of my inner thoughts.

I knew a young girl who was lured into a sexual encounter with an adult after striking up a friendship on "Words with Friends". I don't trust/allow anything with private communication.

[ixacto]

It’s totally possible that pedophiles and abuses are using tiktok and Instagram to groom children, but most of the time it’s someone that the child knows that actually does the abuse:

“ A common myth is that child sexual abuse is perpetrated by strangers and pedophiles. But most people who sexually abuse children are our friends, partners, family members, and community members. About 93 percent of children who are victims of sexual abuse know their abuseriii. Less than 10 percent of sexually abused children are abused by a stranger.” https://www.ywca.org/wp-content/uploads/WWV-CSA-Fact-Sheet-F...

So I’d not freak out too much if your kid searches for something really weird, because we all did that as kids.

[garmaine]

The fact that most assaults are committed by people close to the child is not an argument against also being wary of strangers. It is not an either/or choice. Protect against both.

But also, it’s entirely possible that a family friend would initiate via an app like IG or FB Messenger.

[Clampower]

There’s perverts of every gender, and not limited to males. Instilling this sort of sexism in children from an early age is not great.

[anoncake]

Bonus points for telling a male child that males are inherently untrustworthy.