[KennethPT]

Alternate view: Almost everything in life is ridiculous when you view it with cold logic. It's utterly ridiculous to put golden balls on a fake tree in your house every year, but due to societal constraints most people in Western societies do it.

Your SO probably doesn't want a logical gift, she wants something sentimental that makes her feel that you care about her. For some people, that's an expensive rock with no utility, for others it might be something different. But applying logic to what's ultimately an emotional, illogical affair isn't always productive.

[pydry]

Rituals do make a lot of sense even if the content of them makes no intrinsic sense:

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-rituals-work/

[tialaramex]

You should where possible create rituals which do have a direct purpose anyway.

Big example of real rituals which have purpose, Key Signing Ceremonies. Small example, when I leave somewhere I always pat both pockets twice, everything I absolutely need is always in those pockets, keys, wallet, phone. And so I won't leave them behind.

The weird thing about the diamond engagement ring is that it isn't a powerful symbol of anything. The wedding ring is the powerful symbol, and that would conventionally just be a metal band. You see those everywhere which is of course made more practical by their being a simple metal band.

[cecilpl2]

> when I leave somewhere I always pat both pockets twice, everything I absolutely need is always in those pockets, keys, wallet, phone.

After my wallet fell out of my pants pocket into my office chair and I thought I'd lost it for 2 days, I updated this ritual to do it every time I walk through a doorway. That way if I lose something I know exactly which room it's in.

[pessimizer]

> every time I walk through a doorway

Was just about to post this. I didn't start doing this on purpose, but at some point I noticed I was.

[pessimizer]

I'm entirely against this sentiment, because logic isn't cold, it's a way to maximize your comfort and happiness. However, useless, expensive gifts are more effective than purposeful gifts from a mating perspective - wasting money is a sign of wealth, and that's cold logic.

The ring is basically a sacrifice, which goes with the "blood diamond" thing pretty neatly.

[twobitshifter]

Exactly. The ring is not for you and your wife will be wearing this for the rest of her life if all goes well. If you are unwilling to give her something extravagant because you value paper money so much more, then you’re not ready to go through with the sacrifices that come with a marriage. If your wife wants a diamond, but you want to control your wife and bend her to your will of not having a diamond, you can try and you might succeed, but there will be some resentment every time she sees it on her finger and this will not be an issue that just fades away. Expect to hear it echoing for a long time. Do you want your marriage proposal to be associated with an argument, disagreement, or even a compromise?

On the other hand, a loving relationship and marriage is worth much more than a diamond ring ever could be. When you have a caring wife and you both love and help each other you’ll get an immeasurable improvement in your life.

To conclude, yes it’s overpriced, yes there are problems with diamond mining, yes DeBeers artificially controls the supply, and yes you can find a rarer stone for less, or something more exotic, but your wife wants a diamond, so you buy a diamond and hopefully live a happy life.

[username90]

Christmas would be insane if you put actual gold in them instead of plastics.