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After being stuck for years in my life, what helped me, to speak metaphorically: I believe everyone has a barrel right in front of them that's full of all kinds of things they're trying to avoid acknowledging: harsh truths about themselves and their life, shirked responsibilities, excuses, lies, self-delusion, the little games that they're trying to get away with instead of behaving properly etc. The barrel is so hideous to look at that we rather not look at it at all and go around living our life pretending as if it doesn't exist. We subconsciously believe that it will somehow disappear if we just don't acknowledge it for long enough time, and because almost everyone else around us is also doing the same thing we get the implicit social cue that the barrel is nothing to worry about. Additionally, some things in the barrel are impossible for ourselves to perceive because every human being has genuine blind spots and also because our brains actively modify our perception to hide things from us in order to maintain our psychological sanity, a self-image of ourselves as a good guy. People need the help of others to scour their blind spots and typically they react to this discovery process so badly and emotionally that we rather just keep silent to not upset others, even if they seem eager to really want to see the truth about themselves. It's no joke to have your erroneous self-image blown to pieces by truth. Rather than a quick fix to being successful, rectifying the barrel is a long and a humbling journey and a task for a lifetime. However, as I've taken my few first steps along this path, I can say it seems to work better than anything else, and so to me it doesn't matter if it takes time because it seems a worthwhile pursuit to invest the rest of my life in. I only wish someone would have shown me this way earlier so I wouldn't have wasted so much time, but as the saying goes: "What the wise man does in the beginning, the fool does in the end." |
I'm in a similar place in my life where I have acknowledged the barrel and started to work on addressing the things in it. I too regret not doing this earlier, but I realize that the younger me would not have been receptive as I am right now to such wisdom and experience, and the younger me certainly would not work as hard as I am working right now.