[neltnerb]

Yeah, you do not need a reason and you do not owe the community a lengthy conversation about whether your emotions are valid. You're a volunteer. It's great if other people there reach out for support, but ultimately it doesn't matter if anyone else thinks their experience was real or if their response is reasonable.

Explaining your emotional response when you've been dealing with this kind of thing for an extended period of time is harmful to yourself and I don't think it's remotely fair to complain about them not doing that first. Step one is to keep yourself safe and emotionally healthy. Usually when people get to this point they need at least months before they're even comfortable discussing it privately again, this sounds like it's been going on for a while.

If the organization wants to discuss things on their own they can feel free but including the person who basically says "I'm out" and insisting that they participate if they care about it changing is harassment too, and a recipe for people who have been seriously upset to just get ignored when they refuse to enumerate every instance of behavior that bothered them and have them picked apart by strangers.