[oleander73]

The "things not to say" list is pretty good, but I strongly disagree with the "things to say" list. I appreciate it when people say "let me know if I can help", but offering specific help or even worse "helping" without asking just drains my energy. I've also noticed I like getting a postcard, but dislike getting a text message. A text message produces a desire to respond (which I often don't feel like) whereas a postcard can just be enjoyed without the need to reciprocate. Although I did send flowers to someone who sent me six postcards in as many months.