| I completely understand how you feel. You sound successful: academically and career wise. You realise this, yet it's never enough and you compare yourself to the cream of the crop or 'what you could be'. You need to stop this. Constantly wishing for something more while feeling unhappy with where you are 'in the moment' is a bad state of mind. It is not how you want to experience your life and it is certainly not reflective of what you have already achieved. (Many happy people achieve a lot less!) There will always be people that are more intelligent or more successful, and so on. No matter how hard any of us try, there will always be something more to attain and, truly, if you wished to feel superior to your peers then Hacker News would not be the best place to be. Other than at a few elite universities and companies it is difficult to find people as intelligent, refined and ambitious as those found here. (This is not a bad thing! Being around these kinds of people lifts you up.) I am not saying 'give up on trying to attain', and the advice which has been given by many in this thread on how to do so or how to free yourself from tedium is brilliant. But remember that life is not a journey in which the only thing important is moving-up and getting to the 'end'. There is not going to be a top to the ladder you're climbing, and the only 'end' is when you die. [1] As for: gaining confidence in your abilities, feeling better about yourself, having a better thought process, and overcoming whatever real or perceived obstacles you feel lie in your way; my suggestions are that you: a. Stop considering your life as a giant examination in which you must constantly seek ways of evaluating yourself. Make your life about finding the people and projects that truly engage you and bring you happiness. b. Consider life a learning experience: embrace change [2]; embrace failure as a neccessity; embrace as much as you can: whatever you do, remember that this might be the last time that you do it. [3] The experience that you get from your life is all you have: make the most of it. c. Do not let others approval dictate how you feel you must live your life; know this: the choices you make today will create the person that you are tomorrow. Be happy with who and where you are now. You are the result of the convictions and hard work you had yesterday. Take responsibility and find happiness within yourself. Anyway, hopefully that perspective helps you find a more pleasing direction to your life. Good luck! :) [1] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERbvKrH-GC4 [2] I actually live in London myself, and I am sure there are startup companies around that would be interested in someone like you if you wanted to get a job here. I don't think the experience level required is quite as high as you think it is: it is more important that you are an intelligent man that works hard, gets on with others, and cares about what he's doing. Likewise, there are Hacker News meetups run here and that is a nice way to meet people similar to yourself. [3] http://www.boingboing.net/2010/10/27/twenty-first-century-2.... |
Why you object if I were to get in touch with you? I'm UK based (not London) and would be interested in hearing a bit about the startup/tech scene in and around London. Being involved in a local HN group would be an awesome aid for me.