[ody4242]

You don't have to be a victim. If you earn x, and she earns y, it's perfectly OK in a relationship to get a job that pays only y. I think your wife doesn't want you to be a victim either, maybe she is just not good with finance. You can be happy in a smaller house as well.

[giantg2]

"You can be happy in a smaller house as well."

I can be. She complains about our current 1800sf house being too small.

[ethbr0]

Then she can sell her horse.

Good relationships require clear communication and some semblance of equality.

If you're serious about staying with her, then you need to balance your needs against hers. It's a perfectly valid thing to say "I hate my job. I'm looking for one I enjoy more that pays less. If that happens, I won't be able to pay for your horse. If you want to keep your horse, we need to find a way to balance the budget."

Either she cares about you and has never developed financial muscles, in which case you two can get through with some hard decisions and be happier.

Or she doesn't care about you, and you should split.

(Said as a child of divorce)