I think it's a desire to live free. I don't know how to explain it but the thought of depending on something sometimes gives me anxiety about my ability to function as a human being, to experience life as-is, etc.
The only side effect I have from taking Venlafaxine is my libido is crap but I can live with that.
I'm a Buddhist (even if a crappy one, that's debatable) and in some circles, taking antidepressants feels like "cheating". I was just researching this topic a few hours ago and it seems that's not taboo anymore and even various teachers have come forward and shared they too were on Prozac or other drugs. That was a relief. I'm lucky that in my community that isn't seen as cheating at all but there's that innate feeling that, if I'm trying to control my mind, that an antidepressant would be messing with that, or hindering my practice.
I don't think like that anymore. Even if it was cheating, I'd rather be alive and only get some benefits from meditation in this life rather than be dead.
So yeah, coming off meds is a bit subjective for me but I'm coming to terms with that. Life is better this way.
I'm not Buddhist but I've studied a bit and I do meditate. Isn't it not best to "try to control the mind"? From what I've learned, it seems like the opposite of what to aim for.
By becoming more present we are able to better see the mind and its endless judgments for what they are. We can become more in tune with reality as it is (including our own minds) and this helps us act and think more wisely, instead of based on programming, perspectives, and expectations that we aren't even aware of. I'd also add that compassion is a really important ingredient.
All this to say I don't think anti-depressants are "cheating" in any sense :). Especially if they are the best tool you've found to help you live a good life. I'm really glad you have something that works for you. This stuff is no joke...
I do think we can find better tools and that the field is on the cusp of some really great steps forwards that we desperately need. For me personally, I've recently discovered that trauma has played a big role in my well-being over the past 10 years and I've trying to learn more about that. There are a lot of promising developments seeking to help people actually heal from trauma. I've been particularly excited by the work that MAPS, Saj Razvi, and many others have been involved with.
I think of it like insulin for a diabetic.
They aren't cheating, and neither are you. I'm also buddhist, and can say that it's unfair to yourself to compare yourself to austere monks old.
We live in a modern world full of toxic chemicals, processed food, polluted air, and sedentary lifestyles. There are things you can do to improve your physical situation, and many things that are beyond your control. These things effect us, our body, mind, and soul.
If this is what you need to achieve a baseline level of normal, then have gratitude that you found it!
Use it as a platform to build your religious practice on. Go even deeper into peace and gratitude.
The only side effect I have from taking Venlafaxine is my libido is crap but I can live with that.
I'm a Buddhist (even if a crappy one, that's debatable) and in some circles, taking antidepressants feels like "cheating". I was just researching this topic a few hours ago and it seems that's not taboo anymore and even various teachers have come forward and shared they too were on Prozac or other drugs. That was a relief. I'm lucky that in my community that isn't seen as cheating at all but there's that innate feeling that, if I'm trying to control my mind, that an antidepressant would be messing with that, or hindering my practice.
I don't think like that anymore. Even if it was cheating, I'd rather be alive and only get some benefits from meditation in this life rather than be dead.
So yeah, coming off meds is a bit subjective for me but I'm coming to terms with that. Life is better this way.