| It sounds like you have self confidence issues which lead to a fear of failure. The only way to overcome it is to take a leap of faith. The time is now. I waited until I was 30 to really get over it, and I wasted most of my 20s. So basically: - stop comparing yourself to others
- stop being afraid of failure
- just fucking do it You'll be amazed how freeing it is to not worry about failing anymore. This isn't to say it isn't a hard "habit" to break. I still have my own doubts, but I just remember rejection/failure is only temporary. To paraphrase someone much wiser than me: "On my deathbed, I will regret not trying things far more than I'll regret failing at them" So my suggestion to you: start a side project and get to hacking. Pick a small problem that drives you crazy and set out to program a solution in Rails. It doesn't even have to be something to make money; you just need to put yourself out there. Maybe this isn't you, but your story sounds very familiar. I've been self-employed since I was 20, but I never let myself take it to the next level. If I can save you or someone else those wasted years, it was worth writing this. This Steve Jobs quote still gives me chills, and it spurred me to change my life: "For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something…almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose." |
Your assessment is 100%, it all stems from a lack of self-confidence in my own ability. And that lack of self confidence is causing a constant nagging in my mind that prevents me from achieving what I'm ultimately capable of.
I already have a number of side projects which are predominately mobile apps. One of which has an install base in the thousands. Another of which absolutely bombed and yet took the longest to develop - that was a failure. I don't think I fear failure in my work. Rather I fear failure in life, being rejected for jobs and not being good enough to work at company X or with person Y.