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by el_dev_hell 1917 days ago
I'm one of those people that move jobs more often than you do (roughly once every 2-3 years).

I prefer to arrange an in-person meeting with my direct manager. If that's not possible, Zoom/other video platform.

If it's impossible to get facetime in some capacity, phonecall/email is a last resort.

Always on a Friday. Ideally in the afternoon (3PM).

I rip the bandaid off quickly and tell them I've decided to move on and X day will be my last with the company (don't bury the lede). I thank them for being great. I talk a little about why I'll miss the team and company overall.

Generally, the manager will want to notify the team. If it's going to be more than a week in the future, I tell my closest work colleagues and ask them to keep it quiet for the "formal" announcement.

We then start the handover process. Document anything major that's fuzzy. Finish anything that you can. Don't be one of those people that coast for the next 2-4 weeks and do nothing.

During the exit meeting, I never throw shade on the company. SHUT YOUR MOUTH. There is no benefit to YOU by unloading all the issues with a company. Sure, it might help them, but you will be leaving a bad taste in their mouth, which may come back around in the future (be selfish - shut up). I outline my reasons (almost always it's money, remote work options, or leaving to join a scrappy startup with a nice equity package).

If you get a counter offer (after resigning, not during a normal salary negotiation), do not take it. You will regret it, trust me.

6 comments

> There is no benefit to YOU by unloading all the issues with a company

I took a bunch of Psych classes in college, and one of the experiments I retained is that if you ask someone to recall their time on a long "thing" (e.g. a job, a relationship, etc.), they place much more emphasis on memories from the beginning and end of it than they do on the middle. So it's not just first impressions that are important, but last impressions too. This goes for pretty much everything btw. Same applies to sales calls, interviews, etc.

> If you get a counter offer (after resigning, not during a normal salary negotiation), do not take it. You will regret it, trust me.

I got a counter-offer, took it, stayed for 3 more years, never regretted it.

Also, I complain A LOT to my managers about what sucks in the company. They seem to like having someone open and honest when talking to them.

My expectation about a counter offer is, they just need to keep you until they can find a replacement for you.

That said it all depends on your reasons for leaving. If it is environment only, then definitely no. If it is more money maybe, but expect to be high on the layoff list should the economy turn.

It was in a very hot market (hot specialty at the time in Eastern Europe, where there's a ton of hiring pretty much no firing yet - we're the destination where a lot of the outsourced work from Western Europe and the US ends up in). So, they didn't retain me with counteroffer only because I had specific project knowledge, but also because realistically hiring a replacement would be a pain.
> I got a counter-offer, took it, stayed for 3 more years, never regretted it.

After you had already resigned? Glad it worked for you. I had a horror show and have met several people in similar situations.

> Also, I complain A LOT to my managers about what sucks in the company. They seem to like having someone open and honest when talking to them.

Sounds like you work for a very decent company. Do you think that's a better strategy than STFU (not being a dick, I actually would like to know your opinion)?

> After you had already resigned? Glad it worked for you. I had a horror show and have met several people in similar situations.

Out of curiosity, what can go badly? They offer a counter and then fire you a couple months later, after they've found a more "loyal" (or just cheaper) replacement?

> Sounds like you work for a very decent company.

The manager was a very decent and reasonable human being. He's since left and I wouldn't try it with his replacement - the new guy is detached and doesn't really give a shit about what's going on, he certainly wouldn't bother with trying to retain me with counteroffers.

> Out of curiosity, what can go badly? They offer a counter and then fire you a couple months later, after they've found a more "loyal" (or just cheaper) replacement?

Definitely they question loyalty. In general all companies have an expectation of loyalty from employees they will throw away at a moment’s notice without any remorse

I leave jobs for two reasons: abusive employers/coworkers ot money. Because of this I would never accept a counter-offer, obviously I wouldnt stay in an abusive alsituation, and if another company sees me as more valuable than my current employer then the fear of losing me won’t change my soon to be former employer’s view.

>Definitely they question loyalty.

It's ridiculous to expect loyalty to a company.

Same here. Counter offer, took it, still there 4 years later.
To leave my last job, I publicly shared my resignation letter with many people at the company. It outlined the ways I felt our employees were being negatively treated, why the company had became a bad place to work, and why I felt they were making terrible business decisions. Sure, it wasn't the best move for my career. But, it wasn't illegal. And it felt pretty damned amazing.
haha it probably felt good but I guess toy can never go back there?
I didn't know what to expect when I posted the question but this is really good advice. Thank you.
Took the words right out of my mouth. This is the right take.
Why friday at 3pm?