[jpdaigle]

> Even worse when your romantic partner has different goals in life, as happened here.

What stings (as I can't help but empathize with the author's feelings) in reading this blog is that it sounds like they were very aligned five years ago, but she discovered a gradual growing miscontent only once they tried the early-retiree life.

Not sure if there's a possible fix there, other than trying to compromise (only one of them working, which would probably just lead to more growing apart)

[Sileni]

As many people learned last year, it's easy to gloss over the parts of someone you don't like when you're both actively working towards a goal. When you start spending too much time together, it's easy to have the relationship die from a thousand cuts.

[pdimitar]

I would add "...if you weren't a good match in the first place". Your statement kind of tries to make itself universal.

I absolutely will never subscribe to the BS notion of "couples love each other more when they don't spend much time together".

I'm with my wife for 7 years now and I already worked remotely by the time we met. Our relationship is actually getting better with time.

So what you say mostly applies to people who are, let's call them, good roommates, not two people loving each other.

[SketchySeaBeast]

You take exception to their generalizing and then generalize yourself which I'm taking exception to. I love my wife deeply, but work time apart makes our time together better. It takes all sorts.

[pdimitar]

Not at all, I said what I don't subscribe under and cited my anecdotal evidence. My "generalization" is actually putting people in groups, which by itself admits that a generalization is impossible.

But it could possibly be offensive to some people that I call their couples "good roommates" which is a fair reaction -- I still have the right to my opinion however.

[SketchySeaBeast]

That's fine, but I believe I'm still allowed to take exception to it and express my opinion.

[Sileni]

I said it was an easy thing to have happen, not that it would happen. I'd argue that you took my statement in bad faith, looking for a flaw in it, and generalized more aggressively than I did.

[pdimitar]

Possibly. Sorry if it felt like it, there was no ill will.

[pdimitar]

Some people change, most don't, and when one person changes, the other might be comfortable and not want any changes.

Sadly these things can and do happen. But we the people usually make it much worse by holding on to relationships that are past their date, for much longer than it's healthy.