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by wyldfire 1910 days ago
> Activists quickly found his reputation for asking women out and making jokes about “EMACS virgins."

I'm all in favor of believing victims of sexual harassment and assault. Those claims are so very rarely made falsely that they should be taken very seriously.

But what about claims that a man/woman made sexual jokes or "inappropriate" innuendo? Certainly they can be cause for concern if the accused is someone who has responsibility over the victim. But what if they're peers? How can we righteously distinguish between flirting that results in the furtherance of a relationship and flirting that's not reciprocated? Or just plain boorish behavior?

3 comments

You also should not tell racist jokes, sexist or other off color jokes etc at work. However everyone is able to discuss how they loved the new Chappelle skit.

How does that make sense? Context maybe, but I'm not sure.

It doesn't. The rules people claim are the rules aren't the rules. There is a different set of rules, but they change all the time so you have to be on top of it and follow those. It sounds hard, but really you just do what everyone else is doing and you will be fine. Step outside what everyone else is doing and you are at risk.
> really you just do what everyone else is doing and you will be fine. Step outside what everyone else is doing and you are at risk.

This, sadly, is exactly the correct advice. The path of least risk for most people is to just be like everyone else. Don't try to be more pure, or more boorish, just be alike. Conformity is almost always more beneficial than not.

It's not that simple. Do that today and you're not in trouble today. You may be tomorrow, though, because the rules change overnight. And when they do, there's no forgiveness based on "it was within the rules at the time I did it".
How many years will pass before George Washington is impeached for owning slaves?
Only the jester can make fun of the king I guess
Just don't make random classes of people, or stereotypes thereof, the butt of your jokes.
Yup, it's called flirting only if you're attractive.
That is so wrong on multiple levels.
He was actively avoided by the women of the MIT media Lab. That speaks a lot just by itself.

Flirtation is game around boundaries. When you overstep once, society/the woman will look over it. If you do all the time you will be labeled and avoided. Maybe he applies his stubbornness to everything in life. Which can have outcomes from the awesomeness of a FSF, to isolation or to a lifelong sentence in a prison. Depends a lot on what you are stubborn on.

The fact that a person was ostracized does not make them guilty of some unforgivable transgression. Without concrete accusations, we really can't evaluate what the truth is here, and afaik nobody has made any concrete accusations other than some socially inept jokes.
Please don't repeat unsourced vaguely remembered third party accusations as fact.

[I'm aware from your other comments that you believe you are remembering a post you saw in 2019, but someone could easily mistake your comment as an independent source or repeating an established fact.]

People avoid weirdo dudes who act weird, even if they're not sexual predators.