[jollofricepeas]

People generally treat their partners like pets or property where they gain agency over each other’s wallets and body.

I could careless what my partner spends his or her money on or even whom they decide to sleep with. We treat each other as equals to make their own decisions together or apart.

If you’re with an irresponsible person then you either break off the relationship or agree to suffer with the consequences of their actions.

It works surprisingly well. Others should try it.

[saagarjha]

> even whom they decide to sleep with

I do not expect this to be popular.

[dgreensp]

There are many forms of consensual non-monogamy, including polyamory and others. I don’t know exactly how common, but I’ve heard 5%.

[yeahnah22]

I doubt I’m the only one a bit surprised by this post.

Do you live with your partner? How do you split shared or somewhat-shared expenses? Are your incomes equal? Who has the role of managing expenses? If you go out to dinner, who pays? What if you share a dessert? (.. etc - you get my point.)

I hope you’re willing to expand given your enthusiasm for your lifestyle, but more context will help.

[dgreensp]

I’m not the parent commenter, but, the same thing comes up with friends and housemates. Even married couples who are otherwise “traditional” sometimes keep their finances separate. You each pay rent. If you go on a trip together or buy something for the house, you split the costs. The shared expenses are the easy conversations. If anything, sharing all money obfuscates the harder ones.

[jollofricepeas]

Exactly this.

We have our own personal accounts and then one shared joint account for things we decide to buy together.

When we buy property, we buy it together or if one chooses to buy it alone that’s OK as well.

We also have a loose relationship document that we have created and regularly review to discuss things important to us.

- death - children - retirement - house chores - parenting - sex - commitments

Whatever style of relationship model you have overcommunication and active listening are extremely important especially as it deals with ones feelings, needs and fears.

ALWAYS handle tough conversations the same day (preferably) or week to avoid spiraling negativity and resentment.