[jfengel]

This is, unfortunately, the bane of microaggressions. A lot of inappropriate behavior slips under the radar: anybody who calls it out is accused of making too big a deal of it. A man might be slightly more effective than having you call it out, but it would have to reach a fairly high level of impropriety.

It may help when somebody says, "Hey, X was talking, and I want to hear it." Fixing it immediately helps more than a talking-to afterwards: the odds are good that they don't even remember interrupting you, and if they're not intent on taking it to heart, they won't. They'll often feel the callout was a disproportionate harm, way worse than whatever it is they did.

But a lot of men won't even notice. I've missed a lot of them, or rationalized "that wasn't so bad" and quickly forgotten about it.

You're correct that we should focus on minimizing and preventing harm, but it's just really hard.

[bluehat]

Yeah I agree that catching things in the moment is also great. It's all just tricky.