[jasonwatkinspdx]

As someone that didn't get their diagnosis until I was in my 30s, I'd encourage you to talk to a doctor about what's going on. It definitely sounds like ADHD, particularly the social stress triggering acting out or avoidance.

On the whole I've been fortunate in life, but it's not an exaggeration to say my life would be dramatically different if I'd learned what was going on as a kid. Instead it was interpreted as a character flaw: that I just wasn't applying myself. Even though I know that's wrong now intellectually, emotionally I still had that message beat into me for years as a kid, and that doesn't just go away sadly. I'd be particularly vigilant about teachers creating that dynamic, as sometimes they do it with good intentions but fail to understand doubling down on a "tough love" approach will utterly backfire here.