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by NoOneNew 1930 days ago
Dealer: "I want to buy my 14th $120k car even though I dont have a job or legal business that generates the money to do so. The IRS is going to catch on that I'm buying these things through nefarious means."

Buyer: "I want 120k bucks worth of cocaine. How should I send you the money?"

Dealer: "I'm going to duct tape a banana to a wall and call it art. You buy the art. I drop off the coke."

Buyer: "Who the fuck would buy something like that?"

Dealer: "You, because you're actually buying the coke, not the banana or duct tape. But to the government, you look like a fucking idiot and I'm just a capitalist opportunist. They then dont question my questionable purchasing decisions because I'm an arteest."

I left out some details, but that's the broad brush strokes.

Edit: just thought about it. This is also a nice extra layer of plausible deniability for the buyer.

"I'm not sending money to acquire drugs/illegal weapons, I'm sending money for a... painting."

Cops: "It looks like a toddler drank paint and had projectile diarrhea."

"High class taste in sophisticated art cant be explained to simpletons like you."

1 comments

hahaha, that was a hilarious read. Thank you for taking the time to write something funny while also explaining.

I watched this documentary on Netflix called Made You Look. There was a painting in it that sold for crap ton of money - it was literally two rectangles (not perfect rectangles, but close enough. And no, I am not making this up) in different colors. I paused the video and looked at it for a couple of minutes and thought, my 7 year old niece can draw this. What is special about this painting?

So yeah, I guess I am a simpleton who can't understand art ...

By your description I'm assuming it was supposed to be a Rothko.
I would suggest you don't try to evaluate 3x3m piece of art on canvas based on a screenshot on your 13" LED laptop screen.
True but theres also a difference for a wall sized "painting" of paint splatter/gradient rectangles and a Salvador Dali. I had the benefit of visiting the Dali museum in St Pete FL. Seeing his work in photos and on a computer screen is, "Meh, that's cool". Seeing the exact same pieces tower above you in person is a borderline religious experience that cant be described with words.
To be fair, I do like some abstract art. Those rectangle ones you're talking about can look good as generic decor. Multiple thousands of dollars type of good? Hell no. $20 poster? Yea. A good textured giclee print, 50-100 tops.

In truth, it's just like bitcoin. The black market got involved and drove up prices. The naive market observed without understanding and jumped in.