You seem to be way outdated. A lot of work has been put on reducing key sizes. Dunno about signatures, but for key exchange SIKE (https://sike.org/) uses keys of a few hundred bytes, comparable in size to RSA.
Sure, SIKE is not so much bigger than existing approaches, but it is much slower than they are.
Some of the other choices aren't so much slower but are far bigger, for example McEliece systems.
There's lots of opportunities to make different trade-offs - at least if all of them survive a bit more scrutiny by smart motivated opponents - but they're all generally worse than what we have now - except that they resist Shor's algorithm.
That's true, a quick Google search tells me that an optimized SIKE implementation is ~30x slower than an optimized X25519 implementation. Still, according to this document, running time of SIKEp751 is ~25ms: https://sike.org/files/SIDH-spec.pdf
I don't think that's a problem for end users, you are not constantly generating keys. It will be a problem for servers handling thousands of connections per second, but I'm sure dedicated HSMs will appear if there is a need for them.
In any case, I'm not an expert in crypto, just a poor sysadmin-by-accident who likes reading about the latest security developments so the bad guys don't pwn my servers. And as you said, engineering is always full of trade-offs, let's see what the NIST PQC standardization process will decide.
Some of the other choices aren't so much slower but are far bigger, for example McEliece systems.
There's lots of opportunities to make different trade-offs - at least if all of them survive a bit more scrutiny by smart motivated opponents - but they're all generally worse than what we have now - except that they resist Shor's algorithm.