[violetgarden]

When I was younger, I thought homeschooling was almost exclusively because parents were weird and controlling - maybe even in a cult like situation. Or I thought homeschooling was for socially hopeless kids that couldn’t cut it in “real” school. I have no idea why my perception was so negative. Now that I’m older, my opinion has completely flipped. I am grateful to have had access to public education, but it was probably bronze standard at best. If I had children, I’d probably homeschool them.

[rdtwo]

A lot of school problems don’t do away in the real world. Cheating, bullying, boredom are regular parts of daily life for many workers. There are life skills that are learned in school that aren’t just textbook educational items

[rpiguyshy]

this is nonsense. almost nothing is carried over. it seems like you have never been the target of viscous bullying. there is no comparison whatsoever to bullying in school and in the workplace. the differences are innumerable. the most important difference is that childhood bullying damages the developing brain and creates lasting emotional damage. you are simply more vulnerable at those ages. you will be much, much better equipped to deal with bullying later in life if you are not carrying the emotional scars of being systematically targeted when you were a child. some adversity is necessary but this is a different discussion.

im so sick of people offering this idiotic perspective because they never experienced being the target for more than a year. your opinion hurts people.

[throwawaysthrow]

Throwaway for obvious reasons.

I think you're the one whose talking nonsense. Isolating children from the outside world to "protect them" (or for any reason for that matter) should not be celebrated.

I've been the target of relentless, viscous bullying in school, and it was at a time where kids openly bullied in front of teachers (and camp counselors) and it was just considered normal. Nobody ever tried to stop it because at the time that was not considered something to really correct, just part of normal childhood. The main reasons I was bullied was because I was a runt (physically) and I was not taught any social skills by my parents.

HOWEVER, my parents were severely abusive and were much worse bullies than anyone in school. If I were taken out of school because of "bullying" I would just be much, much worse off and I can't see how I'd ever be able to recover from that without exposure to the outside world. How else would I ever learn better, learn social skills, or learn to make friends (eventually)?

>there is no comparison whatsoever to bullying in school and in the workplace

In an office full of college graduates, probably not, but I've experienced very similar bullying at a dysfunctional blue collar job

Beyond that bullying growing up was just as bad at non-school organizations - summer camp, after school programs, and dance/gymnastics classes so I don't see how homeschooling (if my parents weren't abusive) is going to stop bullying without also isolating children from the outside world completely, which would be severely damaging. So you're basically advocating not letting children to socialize in any capacity because their feelings might get hurt by other kids. This is cruel.

My point is, homeschooling doesn't prevent bullying unless completely isolate your children. I'm not accusing all (or even most) homeschoolers of isolating their children, however, all the ones I personally know did isolate their children.

People are actually trying to stop bullying in school nowadays, so my experience would be different nowadays.

>childhood bullying damages the developing brain and creates lasting emotional damage

Oh, please, the severe emotional damage caused by isolating children from the outside world is so much worse. Also the severe emotional damage that parents can inflict on their children are so much worse than anything a peer at school can inflict, like 1000% worse. I was barely phased by the relentless bullying at school because home was just so much worse. (Plus my parents had already taught me that I was worthless, so it wasn't exactly surprising)

I've known a few people (different families) who grew up entirely isolated from the outside world to "protect" them from any person, place, or (especially) idea that wasn't pre-approved by their parents. They are all extremely dysfunctional. My husband was a boss to one of these guys and he literally couldn't function in the workplace and would have emotional breakdowns regularly. He's dead now, he killed himself. The rest I know are perpetual children who literally have no ability to function without a caretaker (usually their parents, one her arranged marriage husband). I have no idea what's going to happen to these people if they outlive their caretaker, I don't want to think about it, it's incredibly sad.

>im so sick of people offering this idiotic perspective because they never experienced being the target for more than a year. your opinion hurts people.

If you want to turn childhood trauma into a competition, I will "win."

[Viliam1234]

> Isolating children from the outside world to "protect them" (or for any reason for that matter) should not be celebrated.

Then why do we isolate adults from criminals, by putting criminals in prisons?

> I was barely phased by the relentless bullying at school because home was just so much worse.

That is wrong. But for many people it's the other way round.

I wonder if we could find a solution that would somehow help both types of kids. Being able to leave home, but also being able to avoid bullies at school.

[rpiguyshy]

this is utter drivel.

nobody is saying children should be isolated. they should be isolated from things and people who will damage them regardless of what they do. a stove can harm a child, but a child can choose not to touch a stove. a viscous bully will target and track a child, and in modern schools there is no option to fight back. the child has to simply sit there and endure it. so for example, if you put a child into a good private school this would meet my criteria. almost invariably, bullies behave the way they do because they are abused at home. if you separate your kids from the wife-beating riff-raff then you have done your kids a huge favor without "isolating" them.

i would almost not care about this issue if we still had a sane culture that let kids behave naturally and fight each other from time to time. maybe you are a little older than me, but the way it works now is that kids are raised to believe that without school, their life will be over. worse, they will bring disgrace to themselves and their whole family if they dont do well in school. if you fight, you will jeopardize everything by getting in trouble, getting expelled. we are putting boys between and anvil and a hammer with no way out. if my kid has no way to overcome it, and it causes him intense psychological pain for years, then there is no use in subjecting him to it. i cant understand how anyone can not understand this blindingly simple fact.

the key to raising kids is to let them confront danger, adversity and challenges and to make sure they have some kind of agency to overcome what they are facing. school bullying is unambiguously outside of this category of things because fighting is not allowed. its basically no different than strapping the child down and torturing him. it will build just as much character.

there was never any bullying or heroin overdoses anywhere in my life except for my public school. there are all kinds of people, groups and activities. saying that all outside world interactions are the same is utter drooling nonsense.

palmer luckey and Billie Eilish are both homeschooled and they are doing a lot better than you are. not all homeschooling is the same. i could keep my kid in a cage and call it homeschooling.

i see that you endured intense trauma as a child and you enjoyed it. you would not do it any differently. a pamplet of your story should be given to victims of childhood trauma who have schizophrenia and other trauma-induced diseases. clearly they have an attitude problem. it is not the trauma that hurt them, it was their sour attitude about it. what a revolution you have brought.

[musingsole]

Those life skills get taught in homeschool programs too. Or are you under the impression homeschool students are locked away in a closet with a textbook and no windows until they turn 18?

The only lesson a state school can teach that might be missing in a homeschool program is that large institutions are out of your control, have their own motivations, and will maim you without a second's hesitation.

[mgkimsal]

I don't know if you were necessarily 'wrong' for having those perceptions. Homeschooling has become far more of a 'thing' in the past 20+ years, and I think it's been fueled by access to technology and growing concerns over school quality. Even info about 'school quality' is more accessible/shared/debated because of technology (forums/facebook/etc).

That said, the only handful of homeschooling families I knew 40 years ago were - to my recollection - exclusively religious in their motivations. Not everyone homeschooling family I know in the last few years is due to religious conviction, although that's still there in many cases.