[torwayburger]

It's written as a statement, not as a figure of speech. If it's not intended to be factual, it should be annotated as such. It literally claims theft as it stands, which makes the article seem juvenile in use of language.

[TameAntelope]

It's not written as a "statement [of fact]", that is incorrect.

How did 'beervirus and I know how to interpret the phrase successfully?

[torwayburger]

You're interpretation of it isn't wrong. You're still wrong in asserting that it wasn't presentes as a fact in the article. It clearly, linguistically is.

[beervirus]

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/figure-of-speech

It doesn't have to be labeled in big flashing letters "THIS IS A FIGURE OF SPEECH" for reasonable people to construe it as a figure of speech.

[torwayburger]

Beervirus is stealing my time by arguing nonsense.

See? Clearly presented as fact by the language used and yet clearly it's nonsense. No label necessary.