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by JabavuAdams 5494 days ago
Well, maybe he had kids before he got to climb Everest. Does that mean that he should give up on his dreams, due to bad timing?

There's really never a good time to climb Everest.

It might be much better for the kids to have a dead father than a bitter, reluctant father.
2 comments
gwright 5494 days ago
> Does that mean that he should give up on his dreams, due to bad timing?

I don't know about giving up on dreams in the abstract, but yes, having kids should change the priorities in your life and that will most likely mean giving up some of your own wants, big and small, in order to care of your kids. If you aren't comfortable with that change, then you shouldn't make the choice to have kids.

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JabavuAdams 5494 days ago
> then you shouldn't make the choice to have kids

Contributing genetic information and some parenting can be a net positive even if the parent is ultimately absent (for whatever reasons).

Take the extreme case of a parent who disappears just after the child's birth. The other parent may still be thankful to have the child, and the child may still be a credit to society.

Is the disappearing parent a good parent? Not really. Should he/she have never had the child, as you suggest? Well, that's up to the child, really.

I.e. it's hard to fault your parents for making you, whether they're good parents or not.

Do you have kids? It's relevant because I used to make arguments like yours until I had a child and realized how much more nuanced these arguments actually are.

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mst 5494 days ago
He believed in this. His wife presumably knew he did.

I salute them.

Now could we please get the hell out of their personal decisions? Seriously. I'm not comfortable with HN acting as if they're entitled to judge his and her choices. I doubt any of us would want our community to judge ours.

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pandeiro 5494 days ago
I upvoted you for the 'never a good time...' line lolz, but your last statement is truly absurd. I assume you don't have kids. Nothing replaces a parent, even a flawed one.
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JabavuAdams 5494 days ago
> Nothing replaces a parent, even a flawed one.

That's easily refuted -- it depends on how flawed.

Talk to some kids who have been abused, abandoned or had debilitatingly mentally ill parents.

Compare with kids whose parents divorced or who lost a parent to disease.

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