[okoslaatoo]

Your anxiety is trying to save you, just as much as depression.[0]

Disclaimer: I am not a professional in medicine of any kind, just another techie, recovering from the depths of anxiety.

Do not blame yourself for your anxiety. Look for causes in your environment. By the shrug you seem to accept it, yet you know it's wrong.

Seek help, be it professional or supportive environment outside work, be it a new hobby, be it sky watching, etc... Add different stimulii to your mind before going to sleep.

Once you find out what is wrong, address it. Is your anxiety caused by uncertainty? What uncertainty? Do you have control over it?

BTDT, never again. All the money one making will all go to health care. There are plenty of discussions on HN about recovery advice.[0]

[0] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=25546043