[jeffnv]

You're not the only one that feels this way. Just like you're not the only one that probably feels like alcoholics should just learn to handle their liquor, bulimics should accept their body image, people with cardiovascular issues should just exercise more, stutterers should just stop stuttering, asthmatics should just breath better, etc. What you have is a lack of empathy and understanding for people that genuinely suffer from a condition that you don't suffer from, and yes lots of people are in the same boat as you.

[jonathankoren]

I don’t think this is a fair characterization of what he was saying. Many of people that post these stories are self diagnosed, which should give you pause. Maybe they are. Maybe they aren’t. No one — including the poster — knows. If they do not actually ADHD, then they are using this self diagnosis as excuse. You see the same thing with people declaring that they’re “on the spectrum”, when called out for bad behavior. As one diagnosed autistic friend put it, “They’re not autistic. They’re just an asshole.”

[0xb0565e486]

As far as I can tell, empathy goes both ways, and I think it's a bit unfair of you to call me unempathetic for simply expressing how I'm feeling.

I also don't think the examples you give are great analogues to the situation (although highly related) as I've not meet a lot of people using alcoholism, bulimia and asthma as a way to avoid everyday tasks in contrast to ADHD.

[renewiltord]

I think you've misunderstood, which is natural considering feedback like this can be easily perceived as an attack, but GP's response was actually well-worded. You have a lack of empathy for the conditions these people have. That doesn't mean you are unempathetic. It means your behaviour to these people exhibits a lack of empathy for their condition. That is objectively true.

And it's worthwhile to remember, sometimes people have debilitating conditions that make them worthless for tasks. It is sad that some people are paraplegic. Those people cannot be wildfire firefighters. It's not an excuse or anything. I would not want to pay that person to be a wildfire firefighter because they cannot fight wildfires. If I were paying someone to be a wildfire firefighter, and then they lost all their limbs, I cannot indefinitely employ them as a wildfire firefighter anymore. If they were to say "It's not my fault I don't have limbs", I'd have to say "No, it isn't, but also, you can't fight fires. So I'll fulfill my responsibilities to you, but I can't employ you in this capacity any more".

If someone has ADHD and they can't do a job, then they can't do the job. Any general requirements you have as an employer are to make "reasonable accommodations", not to sit there as your employee sits there on their fourth year of doing nothing because they "have ADHD".

[0xb0565e486]

Yup, thanks for pointing that out. I did interpret it as "you are an unempathetic person" while that wasn't the case.

[rustybelt]

I can't help but be reminded of the classic Mitch Hedberg bit: "Alcoholism is the only disease you can get yelled at for having"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P28ErxjBY4o

[jacques_chester]

You should just produce more insulin! You should just not get cancer! Deaf? Just listen harder!