[mattgreenrocks]

I was touched by your comment, especially regarding the cognitive dissonance and meta-emotions.

You need to investigate alternative value systems that don't make a person's worth contingent upon the power they have. I think you will find the freedom you're looking for there. But, it isn't easy, as the ideal of power is nearly hardwired into our brains from many years of evolution. And, if you're successful, you need to realize that you are consciously rejecting much of society's sacrosanct value system, and it will bite you in the ass in unpredictable ways for quite awhile. You may find yourself less successful in areas where power is the lingua franca: business, dating, hell, even friendships.

At the end of the day, however, you can only be true to yourself. Success doesn't mean shit if you're not happy. Best of luck to you, you know enough to really set yourself free, but it only gets harder if you go down that route.

[StavrosK]

Rejecting a value system doesn't mean you won't recognise it or even abide by it, it just means that you think it's flawed/unjust/false.

[mattgreenrocks]

Good point.

You have to constantly remind yourself that others may play by totally different rules from you, and you cannot call them on it without pissing them off. The trick is more to find some kindred spirits so you don't feel too strange.