[frankbreetz]

What I don't like about article like these, is they never say when is enough, enough. If my 15 year old is still dumping milk on the floor and laughing surely the "Model Graciousness" phase has ended.

Also not covered is what makes "a spoiled brat". In my experience, both as a child and adult, it seems the "spoiled brats" are the children that have little to no boundaries and are allowed to do whatever they want even if there parents are present, and display helpful properties.

I considered my self a pretty forgiving parent, but in my opinion a parent who is not in control of their children at least to a degree where they can be pleasant to strangers in public(what if they dump milk on a stranger in public and laugh?), is not a good parent and their children struggle from a lack of structure.

[dundercoder]

Children really do thrive on boundaries, and sometimes the only way to establish those is with force (take their hand and make them clean it up) or other punishments.

[recursivedoubts]

"We might fancy some children playing on the flat grassy top of some tall island in the sea. So long as there was a wall round the cliff’s edge they could fling themselves into every frantic game and make the place the noisiest of nurseries. But the walls were broken down, leaving the naked peril of the precipice. They did not fall over; but when their friends returned to them they were all huddled in terror in the centre of the island; and their song had ceased."

-- G.K. Chesterton

[loriverkutya]

And then your child is not going to do something only because if not, punishment come. And they will still do it, if they can get away with it. Punishment never work on the long run.

[junippor]

> And then your child is not going to do something only because if not, punishment come. And they will still do it, if they can get away with it. Punishment never work on the long run.

Punishment definitely works in the long run. That's what society is based on.

[phnofive]

That’s really where punishment (fear) falls down. In the short term, consequences may be or seem inevitable; in the long term, the mischievous or criminal or anxious will model behavior to avoid consequences.

Punishment should come after reinforcement - but with equal consistency.

[frankbreetz]

If you punish your child for dumping milk on a stranger and then laughing, I think the behavior will stick for the long term.

[m463]

Never underestimate the force of a raised eyebrow.