[koolk3ychain]

Pushing myself during covid has been a somewhat frivolous and failed effort. Sure, I managed to stand up a handful of small "test" side projects, two of which are now small businesses - however I actually struggled more to immediately apply myself at my day job while working remote.

I know the immediate comments will be - focus on your job not side projects, this is obviously why you struggled to buckle down on "actual work". However, I would say that my day to day work gives me more stress and "pushing myself" just lead to further meetings and stress being more involved with other people's problems.

Like a few other commenters here I received an ADHD diagnosis in my early twenties - for this reason college was a significant challenge. My deepest moments of "pushing myself" have come from trying to escape situations or life circumstances that make me deeply unhappy. Supposedly, ADHD sufferers commonly focus anxiety like this - however, this is certainly my vice. Being able to gauge risk and make hard decisions with this anxiety is great - but it comes at a huge personal and social cost.